For Teens

Why do teens have sex?

Teens give many reasons why they have sex. Here are some of those reasons and some information that will help you make the right decision for your life.

Sexual Attraction – We are sexual beings so it’s natural to be sexually attracted to others. Without sex, the human race would be extinct!

  • Yes we are sexual beings, however we are also thinking beings with the ability to control our emotions. As human beings we have to consider all the consequences of our behaviors – including sexual behaviors – before we take action.
  • Strong sexual feelings and curiosity are normal, but you don’t have to act on them.

Sex is everywhere – We are constantly bombarded with sexual messages in the movies, TV shows, magazine ads, and billboards. The producers of these messages are taking advantage of our responsiveness to sexual messages to make a profit – sex sells: movie tickets, magazines, commercials for popular TV shows or books.

  • Sex scenes you see on TV or in the movies aren’t there to teach you about STDs, unplanned pregnancies, and the real emotional risks people take when they have sex. Most media sex scenes are there to excite you, period. If you see enough of these scenes, you might begin to think sex is no big deal and always safe. You might start to think real life is like the movies. Until you find yourself dealing with an STD, an unplanned pregnancy or real emotional pain from a failed relationship.
  • Think about the messages the media is delivering and why- and make your own decisions about what is real.

Everyone is doing it

  • While it might seem like most teens are having sex this is really not true. Studies show the majority of teens have not had sex by the time they are 17.
  • Of those who have chosen to be sexually active most say that they wish they had waited longer to have sex.
  • When someone is bragging about having sex or talking about “doing it”, just remember a lot of teens brag about sex because they want to be cool or popular. Even if your friends have “done it” you’re smart enough to make your own decisions – it’s your life!

Just for guys: Score. Go for It. Be a man. Real men are always doing it. If you aren’t having sex that means you’re gay. Guys really get a lot of pressure about sex. A lot of guys think it’s macho to brag about sex – bragging about sex probably only hides their fear of being unpopular or thought of as gay, it also trashes the reputation of the girls they date – something that is really hard to undo. Having sex is not the same as being a man – you can be cool, strong, good looking and popular without having sex.
Pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend – “If you love me you’ll have sex with me.”

  • Even if your boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex you can still say no. Many teens think that if they say no to their partner about sex they will get dumped. Be sure to let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you really care about them and your relationship but you have decided to wait to have sex. Explain how the pressure to have sex makes your feel.
  • Someone who really cares about you and loves you will not pressure you to do something that makes you uncomfortable , or that you know is not right for you. You deserve to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who are more about you than about sex. No one has the right to pressure you to have sex.

Adults have sex outside of marriage, why shouldn’t I?

  • Just as some adults have problems and abuse alcohol, drugs or gamble, some adults make poor choices about sex. It is natural to be influenced by the example of the adults in your life – however you are the one who must live with an STD or unplanned pregnancy – make your own decisions about what is right for you.

Condoms provide protection from pregnancy and STDs

  • All forms of birth control including condoms can fail. Almost half of all unplanned pregnancies happened while one or both sexual partners were using some form of birth control.
  • The pill, norplants and shots offer no protection from STDs at all. Less than half of sexually active teens report using condoms during intercourse. Teens are getting AIDs at a faster rate then any other group in America. There are more than 40 sexually transmitted diseases common among teens today.
  • The only 100% sure way to avoid pregnancy, STDs or emotional baggage is to wait to have sex until marriage.

Just for guys: Pregnancy is not a problem just for girls – guys who get a girl pregnant will be financially responsible for the baby for the next 18 years.

There’s nothing better to do

  • Some teens say they have sex because they are bored or there is nothing better to do – some even say starting a family in high school is fine – they won’t do anything else after high school anyway.
  • If you have a baby as a teen there will be plenty to do: change diapers, go to school, work to pay the bills, care for a sick or crying baby. There won’t be time or money to do things like go to the movies or hang out with friends.
  • There is plenty of time to have sex and to have a family – right now is the time to be enjoying the freedom of the teen years and to be planning for your future.

I was drunk or high when I had sex

  • Drugs and alcohol make it harder to say no – they change the way you think and act. Even if you mean to say no, if you are drunk or high you may not.

I’ve already had sex

  • Most teens wish they had waited to become sexually active. Some teens were forced to have sex when they didn’t want to. Even if you have had sex before, you can still say no to sex in the future. Now that you have more information about the consequences of sex, you have better reasons to wait. The fewer sexual partners you have in your life the less likely it is that you will get an STD or get pregnant.

Do teens who have had sex still have each other? What’s wrong with having sex with someone you love so much? Especially when you’re sure it will last forever?

  • Well, most teenage relationships don’t last. Just because their bodies were ready for sex doesn’t mean their minds and hearts were.

Getting pregnant and catching diseases aren’t the only way that sex can hurt you.

  • Contraceptives fail more often than you probably imagine. In fact, there’s no such thing as completely “safe sex”. But even if you’re “lucky”, premarital sex can leave emotional scars that you’ll feel for the rest of your life.

You may have thought it was love, but it was really just sex.

  • When you’re having sex with someone, it’s hard to tell you what you love – the person or the sex. It’s easy to wind up in a relationship or even a marriage with someone who is wrong for you. Waiting to have sex lets you find out if it’s really someone you can love.

Having sex is no guarantee you’ll stay together.

  • Lots of teenagers give in and have sex to “keep” someone. And then that person leaves anyway. If you have to have sex to keep someone you love – is that person really worth keeping?

After you’ve had sex with someone, breaking up hurts twice as much.

  • When you trust someone completely and then that person walks away you’ll feel used in a way you never have before. After all, you can have sex the rest of your life, but you can only give away your virginity once. If you give it to the wrong person, it won’t take a baby or disease to make you feel terrible. So think about waiting. You may be surprised about how good it can feel.

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